Why should you stop being a helicopter parent?
Helicopter Parenting is a model in which a parent is always close to the child; always watching, trying to protect, and solve all problems. In this case, the child’s initiative and independence are severely limited.
Children of helicopter mums and dads, in most cases, grow up anxious, depressed, and pessimistic. Typically, their decision-making skills are inferior to those of their peers. They lack a sense of responsibility. Some children try to resent and resist parental restrictions, which significantly spoils family relationships.
Find out how as a helicopter parent you are limiting your child’s independence on a scale that can harm and interfere with further success in life.
Table of Content
- Helicopter Parenting: How is it unhealthy for your kid?
- 1. Excessive care and control
- 2. Making decisions for the child
- 3. Holding on a leash
- 4. Direct and categorical instructions and commands
- 5. Performing tasks for the child
- Why do you need to stop overprotecting a child?
Helicopter Parenting: How is it unhealthy for your kid?
1. Excessive care and control
The helicopter parent non-stop “hovers and circles” over the child, without losing vigilance, and from time to time dives sharply downward if it seems to them that the situation requires intervention. They sincerely believe that they bear good to their child and protect them from all kinds of dangers and temptations- possible and hypothetical. Helicopter parents are extremely zealous to protect the child from life’s issues and problems and create the safest and even greenhouse conditions.
2. Making decisions for the child
Parents are determined to influence all the actions and deeds of their offspring and make their own, the only correct decisions for them. And, it does not matter how old the child is. Moreover, the helicopter parent is extremely proud of themself. Because they are sure that in this way they are taking the whole blow on themselves and relieving the child of the stress and discomfort that inevitably arises from making decisions.
3. Holding on a leash
Helicopter parents are always inseparable from their children, literally keeping them on an invisible leash, especially in crowded places. They do not let them out of sight for a single second and follow the child on heels. For example, in the pool, such a parent sits near the water with a mass of life jackets and oversleeves, and in a cafe, parents dab the child’s mouth with a napkin and almost spoon-feeds.
4. Direct and categorical instructions and commands
Without even trying to explain to the child what is expected of them, the typical helicopter parent immediately proceeds to issue instructions and commands. Often in raised tones, expecting their immediate and unquestioning execution. The child has no right to question or dispute such directives. Of course, the parental authority must be present, but it is much better not to build children like soldiers on the parade ground. But to clearly and intelligibly explain the consequences of, say, an unacceptable behavioral model.
5. Performing tasks for the child
Helicopter parents carefully do all the lessons for the child and make them use a sippy cup almost until school age. They carry a backpack to school for their beloved child, cut food into pieces, and tie the shoelaces on their shoes, although such actions are quite within the power of the child. In fact, this deprives the child of the opportunity to learn and develop. But from an early age, they understand the model of dependence and shifting responsibility, as the only true and very convenient one.
Why do you need to stop overprotecting a child?
A parenting style such as helicopter parenting is detrimental to the well-being and healthy development of children. Being tough, setting rules, maintaining discipline, and monitoring your child’s behavior is not a bad thing. But if there is more control than is necessary for protection and education, then this will result in unintended negative consequences for the emotional growth of the child and relationship with other people, including parents.
Perhaps your child has new friends who are having a negative impact. Perhaps he was disappointed or afraid of something. This could be school problems or bullying. Whatever the situation, take the time to talk to your child about it, without judgment or emotion.
Sometimes it’s hard not to be a helicopter parent. A mother hovering next to her often has only good intentions. However, the child is more likely to resist. And rightly so. Such upbringing will prevent him from developing the initiative and independence that are so necessary for adulthood.
